I called Gareth this morning, to warn him that the M1 south in Johannesburg, just before the Killarney bend was blocked up, because of an accident involving a truck. I know Gareth drives this way. If it wasn’t for me, Gareth would have been late this morning, and it could have ruined your day. But it wouldn’t have, we would have just played extra music, with Mabale telling you what song that was, until Gareth arrived. This does happen about five times a year. If it happened every morning, eventually, you would probably tune out to another radio station, or just listen to your own music on your iPod or whatever you use these days. Gareth mentioned the accident this morning, but he never gave me credit for warning him about it. I don’t need the credit. I’m like Agent J, and Agent K from the “Men in Black”. Those agents save the world countless times, and nobody knows they exist. Do you ever listen to the radio, and you hear a voice suddenly out of nowhere, and you have no idea who it is, and half the time, you don’t even know what they are talking about? Well, that’s somebody who could never be an agent working for a secret society, to save the world from an alien invasion. Or simply put, this person just wants their voice on the radio, and doesn’t care, or even think, that they are just confusing you. They’re not happy, just answering the phone, making tea, or fetching a bowl and spoon. And how do you get that spoon, if there are no clean spoons, and no running hot water, or dishwashing liquid? Gareth doesn’t have to know that I boil the kettle, and pour the hot water over a dirty spoon, to make sure, he has a clean spoon. No, Gareth doesn’t need to know that.
Did we really have to know about the rabbit in the ear of the Madiba statue in Pretoria? Gareth tweeted the pic of it, from the newspapers. There it was, a tiny rabbit in the ear. But how did anyone ever find out about it? The two sculptors involved, may have been riddled with guilt, and spilt the beans. Maybe they couldn’t live with themselves. Two Afrikaaner sounding names, maybe they felt guilty enough about Apartheid, and this rabbit in the ear, just pushed them over the edge. As Gareth pointed out in his “News to Use or Lose (I love this feature), imagine if the statue is uncircumcised as well. That would really make people haemorrhage from all orifices.
Gareth was so happy that seven poachers have been killed in the Kruger National park so far this year. That’s about one kill every second day. This is not enough. Very nice idea Gareth’s got, about the drones circling the Kruger National park, picking off anyone without their bar-coded, park-ranger ID book. The drone scans the ID book, and if you don’t have one, “bang”. Well, no, no “bang”, I assume the drones will have a silencer, don’t want to disturb the animals. If you are in fact a park-ranger, and you’ve left your park-ranger bar-coded ID at home, well, that’s just collateral damage, sorry.
I was quite satisfied with the calls today. I find that we get decent calls when Gareth and the team are just having a conversation. If you’ve never called before, give it a try. We need calls on personal experiences that you’d never tell your parents. And if you’re one of those introverted people with lots on your mind, but you’re too afraid to talk, this is your platform, 089 11 00 505.