We started this morning off, in a forlorn, sombre mood, as the news came through that Ana Ivanovic had been knocked out of the Australian Open. This is the same woman who beat Serena Williams, so we really thought she was a strong contender for the title. Sias immediately went into his shell, like he’d just been caught masturbating by his mother. Mabale, I think, also felt led down, as Ivanovic was like a role model for her. Mabale Moloi and Ana Ivanovic, both hail from a small rural dwelling, they’re like kindred spirits, Mabale being from Qwa-Qwa, and Ivanovic from Serbia.
Gareth didn’t allow this devastating Ivanovic disappointment to stop him from his continuing attacking on the fragile underbelly of Sias’ perceived disorganized lifestyle, and again focused on this part of Sias’ character. Gareth doesn’t understand the lifestyle, and won’t let go of this “problem”. But Sias surprised us all, and revealed “a new man”. Sias showed Gareth, and explained to us all, his new calendar, and diary. “This is a man who will be more reliable in future.” I for one, am not buying into any of this. I respect the lifestyle that Sias has chosen. Sias is plenty organized. Sias knows exactly what he’s doing, and he’s always had a calendar and diary. Sias just chooses not to communicate. We must just work around the lifestyle, that Sias has chosen, and not have any expectations. Sias gets to work on time very day, and delivers good sports reports. We can’t ask for anything more. We’ve never had a competent sports reporter before, and that’s all we must focus on.
AMCU keeps coming up as the lead story in our news bulletins, while Justin Bieber urinating in the snow, and Brad Pitt’s new haircut get no mention whatsoever. This drives Gareth insane with rage, and feelings of deep despair. But luckily with Gareth’s short attention span, these sentiments only last about six seconds. You can’t let AMCU ruin your morning. What should have been the lead story is our sports minister, Fikile Mbalula. Fikile Mbalula said that Bafana Bafana were “a useless bunch of losers, who have disgraced the country”. Mbalula went on, “They don’t respect their parents, their girlfriends and the nation. There is a need for a new generation of players as the current crop doesn’t respect the country. Brazil did it when they got rid of players like Kaka, so why can’t we? They must make way [for others].” If this sports ministry thing doesn’t pan out so well, I’d make this man Minister of Entertainment. Fikile Mbalula was the star of the show for today, and maybe will be, for the week. This is a talent that must not go to waste, let him have as many press conferences as humanly possible. On the other side of the scale, Gareth was lamenting on how boring sportsman are. When they’re interviewed, they are so withholding. They don’t really give anything away. It’s all so cliché, going through the routine. Unfortunately, I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel on this one. Look at two examples. Hansie Cronje was embroiled in the dark underworld of match-fixing. There was more to Hansie Cronje than just cricket. He never gave a hint of a man, who ever took his eye, and mind off a cricket ball. Tiger Woods was being overwhelmed by women, like a sex addict. Both these men never showed an inkling of any personality. Woods is still around, very much alive, still playing golf, but he conducts himself to the media, still like the “Stepford Wife of Golf”, like nothing’s happened. To add to this, none of his fellow golfers are any better. They don’t even have the personality to make jokes about Tiger. If I was a top golfer, and just did a round with Tiger Woods, I would say, “It was really difficult to concentrate out there, what with all the hookers calling Tiger from behind the trees.” Please, go to YouTube and search “John McEnroe tantrums”. That was personality. That was entertainment.
We all went to see a pre-screening of “Anchorman 2” yesterday, as I’ve already mentioned before. Gareth was recalling this morning, how Leigh-Ann fell walking up the stairs, after the film. I didn’t go into this incident, because Leigh-Ann might still be fragile, from the temporary loss of Joey, her Miniature Pincher last week. Leigh-Ann may appear unaffected, and well recovered from that whole drama, but I feel we must still be sensitive. I know that damn small irritating dog, gets under Leigh-Ann’s feet all the time, and she’s constantly being tripped over by that hound. Leigh-Ann’s falling over outside the cinema, in front of Barry Ronge, was merely a subconscious attachment to Joey, who obviously couldn’t attend the pre-screening with us.
Gareth shared his discomfort of driving home from the movie screening on a full bladder. There was a perfectly good toilet at the movie theatre. He just brushed over that, like it wasn’t an important error on his part. Why didn’t Gareth take a quick wee before he left to go home? I’ll tell you why. Leigh-Ann’s tripping up the stairs, produced such laughter and comraderie amongst us all (except Sias), Gareth didn’t want to be apart from it, and carried on walking out the cinema with us. So it was Leigh-Ann’s fault that Gareth had a torturous drive home. But then it’s also Gareth’s fault, that he lives so far away, in Pretoria.
Gareth made a very good observation about the Red Carpet, at such recent events, like “The Golden Globes” and “The SAGS”. Gareth said that these stylists hate their clients. They make their clients look ridiculous. Leigh-Ann, or was it Mabale?…. said that it gives Joan Rivers something to talk about. Very good point, but I’m actually more concerned with Giulianna Rancic and Ryan Seacrest. Gareth has always said that Ryan Seacrest is good, because he doesn’t make it about himself. He’s neutral, just gets the job done, doesn’t shine, and “he works”. I’ve always agreed with Gareth, but now I’m changing my mind. I think Seacrest seems to be, like he’s just going through the motions. He’s too chummy with the celebs, too familiar, there’s too much assumption going on there, like “I know you so well, so good to see you again, I’m not really going to ask you anything insightful, challenging, or interesting at all.” It’s just too much, “I’m your pal, good to see you again, who are you wearing?” And Giulianna Rancic isn’t much better.
This has been quite a long posting. Do you really think I can sustain this? I’m really curious to find out myself. My back is actually starting to hurt me, I’m sitting on this Ottoman-type thing, no lumbar support. I think I must start using a decent chair.